Life Keeps Testing You Until You Learn

Hey,

Let me tell you about the dumbest thing I did recently.

So I wanted to buy a TV. And in a bid to save some money, I went to Ladipo to get a used one.

Now, here's the thing — I've done this before.

Three years ago, I bought a second-hand phone from computer village.

That thing almost took my life. I told myself back then: "Never again. No more used electronics."

I even made it a rule. Crystal clear. No used gadgets.

But time passed. I forgot. And when I needed a TV, guess where I went?

Yep. Ladipo.

Bought the TV. Three days later, I started seeing lines on the screen.

And I just sat there like... "How did I get here again?"

Life literally gave me the same test. And I failed it. Again.

Now, here's what I want you to understand:

Life keeps throwing the same lessons at you until you actually learn them.

It's not being cruel. It's being patient.

It's saying: "You didn't get it the first time. Let me show you again. And again.

Until you finally pay attention."

Carl Jung said it perfectly:

Read that again.

The patterns running your life? You can't change them if you don't see them.

And the crazy part?

Most of us keep failing the same tests over and over without even realizing it.

We react the same way when someone triggers us.

We make the same financial mistakes.

We fall into the same relationship patterns.

We ignore the same red flags.

Not because we're stupid. But because we never actually reflected on what happened.

Let me ask you something:

When you fail at something — when you mess up, when things don't go your way, what do you do?

Most people do one of two things:

Option 1: They beat themselves up. "I'm so stupid. Why do I keep doing this? What's wrong with me?"

Option 2: They brush it off. "It is what it is. Moving on."

Neither of those is learning.

One is self-punishment. The other is avoidance.

And here's the truth most people don't want to hear:

Beating yourself up doesn't mean you care. It just means you're stuck.

Because when you're busy punishing yourself, you're not actually learning anything.

You're just feeling bad. And feeling bad doesn't change behavior.

It just makes you scared to try again.

Here's what's even wild:

You can't learn when you're in threat mode.

But self-compassion?

It activates the same neural pathways as receiving compassion from someone else. Your brain relaxes. Opens up. And that's when actual learning happens.

Self-compassion doesn't make you soft. It makes you smarter.

So here's what I want you to do instead.

I call it The 3R Method: Recognize. Reflect. Redirect.

It's simple. And it works.

Step 1: Recognize (Own it)

First, you have to acknowledge what happened. No sugarcoating. No excuses.

Just: "I messed up. I made a choice. This is the result."

For me, it was: "I bought a used TV even though I said I'd never do that again. Now i get to face the consequences."

Not: "The guy scammed me."

Not: "I had no choice."

Just the facts. I did this. This happened.

You can't learn from something you won't admit happened.

Step 2: Reflect (Extract the lesson)

Now, here's where most people get it wrong.

They stop at "I messed up" and then either spiral into self-hate or just move on.

But reflection is different.

Reflection asks: "What is this trying to teach me?"

Not: "Why am I so stupid?"

Not: "Why does this always happen to me?"

But: "What pattern am I missing? What lesson is life repeating that I keep ignoring?"

Think of it like a GPS.

You know how when you miss a turn, your GPS doesn't yell at you? It doesn't say "You idiot! You missed the turn! What's wrong with you?"

It just says "Recalculating" and finds you a new route.

That's what reflection is.

You missed the turn. Okay. Recalculate. What's the new route?

But most people just sit there going "I can't believe I missed that turn! I'm so stupid!" while the GPS is literally trying to help them.

Stop yelling at yourself. Start recalculating.

For me, the lesson was clear:

"I keep thinking I can outsmart the rules I set for myself. I get tempted by shortcuts. And every time, it costs me more than I would've spent just doing it right."

That's the lesson. Not just "don't buy used electronics."

The deeper lesson: Stop trying to cheat your own rules.

See the difference?

One is surface-level. The other is a pattern I can now watch for in other areas of my life.

Good reflection sounds like curiosity. Bad reflection sounds like criticism.

Here are the questions to ask yourself:

1. What actually happened? (Facts only, no judgment)

2. What was I trying to achieve? (Your intention)

3. What did I do that contributed to this outcome? (Your part, not what others did)

4. What pattern am I noticing? (Is this familiar? Have I done this before?)

5. What would I do differently next time? (Specific action, not vague "be better")

Write these down. Seriously. Your brain works differently when you write.

Step 3: Redirect (Apply it moving forward)

Now that you've extracted the lesson, you redirect.

You don't stay stuck in the failure. You don't keep replaying it.

You take the insight and apply it moving forward.

Maya Angelou said it best:

That's it. That's the whole game.

You didn't know better before. Now you do. So now you do better.

For me, it's simple: No more "just this once" exceptions to my own rules. If I set a rule, I follow it. Period.

That's growth. That's learning.

And here's the beautiful part:

The more you do this — the more you fail and reflect fast — the faster you grow.

Because failure isn't the problem.

Repeating failure without learning is.

Most people are terrified of failure. They tiptoe around it. They avoid risk.

But you?

You should be hunting for failure.

Not recklessly. But intentionally.

Because every failure is just data. Every mistake is feedback. Every mess-up is a chance to learn something you didn't know before.

The goal was never to avoid failure. The goal is to fail fast and extract the lesson faster.

So here's my challenge to you this week:

Think about a recent failure. Doesn't have to be big. Just something that didn't go the way you wanted.

Now, run it through the 3R Method:

Recognize: What actually happened?

Reflect: What's the lesson? What pattern am I seeing?

Redirect: What will I do differently next time?

Write it down. Take 10 minutes. Do it now.

Because I promise you this:

Life is going to keep testing you with the same lesson until you finally learn it.

The question is: How many times do you want to take the test before you pass?

For me? I'm done buying used electronics. Lesson learned. Finally.

What's yours?

With you, always,
Uthman

P.S. — If you catch yourself beating yourself up this week, stop. Take a breath. Say: "I'm learning. This is part of the process." Then do the 3Rs. That's how you grow.